Public speaking… is like torture for me.
Even the idea of it makes me nervous. I’ve never really been a fan of it, but it’s definitely got worse over the years. I’m not sure if I lack confidence in myself or what, but it’s awful. When it comes to class presentations I get myself in such a state. When I’m actually standing there talking I’m okay, but leading up to it… I can’t cope! I know I’m not the only one who has problems with public speaking – I know loads of people who do, but when it comes to your turn you just feel all alone and pressured. Even the week or so leading up to the presentation I get nervous. My eating cuts down more and more each day, and on the day I literally cannot eat a thing until it is over.
It’s really quite frustrating. I have such bad anxiety, and when it comes to public speaking… Well, that just takes my anxiety to a whole new level. I just wish I could say to myself “man up. You will be fine! It’s nothing…”. But whenever I tell myself that it just doesn’t sink in. Then after it’s done I say to myself, “see, it wasn’t that bad…”. It’s a nightmare!
I guess I sort of envy people who are completely fine with public speaking. Not in a horrible way, just like “why can’t I be like them?”. The relief when it’s over though is a great feeling, but up until then it’s horrible.
One thing I am really nervous about it my graduation this summer. After three years at university, I will finally be graduating in July… But why is it that everybody, apart from me, is looking forward to it? Obviously I can’t wait to pass my degree and graduate, but the whole ceremony is what scares me! Having to walk up in front of hundreds of people and…. Urgh, I can’t even think about it right now 😦
Hopefully one day I will be able to overcome the fear and beat all of the anxiety that comes with it. But until then I guess I will keep plodding along and hope for the best. I guess you just need to remember you’re not alone 🙂