I can’t quite get over the fact that in 3 weeks time, I would have completely finished education. My three years of university will be over and I will be taking a big leap into the big wide world.
The thing that worries me the most is that I have nothing lined up for after the summer. Some people have jobs to go to, but I have nothing other than my Saturday job. I have thought about starting to apply for full time jobs on numerous occasions, but in the end I decided that that would be an added stress. I need to get myself through the last hurdle of uni before I put more pressure on myself of interviews and job hunting.
I’m quite excited though. I’m looking forward to entering a new chapter in my life and hopefully landing a dream job for myself. Yet at the same time, I’m scared. Very scared. What if I can’t get a job? What if I don’t fit in there? What if I’m not good enough?
My biggest fear is that my anxiety will hold me back. Whilst being in university, I have tried to attend all of my lectures, but some days my anxiety has had a different idea. I either can’t get out of bed without being sick, or I would get half way to uni and turn back round to go home because my nausea was uncontrollable. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that up until now I have been able to go with the flow. If I couldn’t handle getting out of bed one day then it wasn’t the end of the world – I could catch up on uni work. But soon, when I get a full time job, that’s going to have to change. They won’t accept the fact that I will have days where I can’t go in because of my anxiety. They won’t understand that I don’t want to go for lunch with them because it scares me.
In a way, I feel like I’m about to make a huge step into another world. That probably sounds so over the top, but it genuinely feels like that sometimes!
I guess I will just take one baby step at a time and hope for the best 🙂