I always have and unfortunately I didn’t exactly help the situation…
When I was younger I had quiet dark bushy eyebrows. I never had a mono brow, just lots of hair each side that looked pretty scruffy. Obviously it didn’t bother me when I was little, but when I became a teenager it became an issue for me.
I had started comprehensive school and I (the totally un-cool girl) had to compete against the cool girls; Known as “The Plastics”. (Unsure of what I mean? Go and watch Mean Girls! It’s a must-watch movie).
So.. one night I closed my bedroom door and decided to get the tweezers out (which I obviously borrowed from my older sister). It hurt, but it felt great. I plucked and plucked away until I had thin eyebrows just like all the other girls. I loved it! The thing is, I didn’t even realise back then that ‘shape’ mattered. I thought as long as they were thin then I was safe.
Staring at myself in the mirror, I feel confused. Who am I?
I see a pretty, confident girl with a sweet smile brightening up her face. Her eyes are sparkling as if happiness is all around… As if life was perfect. Her long, brunette hair hung down the side of her face and down her back. She stood confidently admiring her posture and figure in the mirror, smiling with glee at the beautiful sight in front of her.
I closed my eyes… and re-opened them.
She was gone. That sweet smile that still grinned back at me looked fake and the sparkling eyes were not those of happiness, but those of fear.. of tears. Her long hair still hung around her face, but this time it was clear that she was trying to hide behind her brunette locks. Scanning myself up and down in the mirror, I saw a scared, vulnerable girl who was confused about who she was.
“You need to be like this.. you need to be like that..”, the words of the past haunted her. Who were they to tell me how to live my life? So what if I don’t look how I should. What happened to accepting people for who they truly are, rather than trying to turn them into someone they should be.. someone who they aren’t?