The Truth Behind My Abusive Relationship

When my friends used to tell me to leave my relationship whilst I still can, I never listened. They would tell me I was in an abusive relationship and it was dangerous, but how could it be when he had never hit me? How could it be when he had never threatened to punch me or tried to strangle me?

I understand now. It has been just under three years since we broke up, and I can finally admit I was in a abusive relationship. Everybody else could see it; apart from me. Because Love is blind.

When we first got together, things were great. I fell for him straight away and it was the first time I could honestly say that I only have eyes for him. Things were going smoothly, yet whenever we came to any kind of obstacle that affected our relationship, it was always my fault. 

My Journey; To be continued

Something has happened to me lately that has changed things for me in the best way I can imagine. I don’t know whether I am crazy from being on cloud 9, or whether this is actually fate but it has made me want to share my journey with you right now. What I am going  through, you will here about.

I guess its a current  blog. But I am going to try and make it as interesting as I possibly can. I apologise for a lack of posts again – work has been absolutely manic over the Christmas period – but I would love it if you all followed my journey with me!!

Here’s the beginning – Enjoy ❤ 

“Brow Zings”: My Complete Godsend

I hate my eyebrows. Like, actually hate them.

I always have and unfortunately I didn’t exactly help the situation…

When I was younger I had quiet dark bushy eyebrows. I never had a mono brow, just lots of hair each side that looked pretty scruffy. Obviously it didn’t bother me when I was little, but when I became a teenager it became an issue for me.

I had started comprehensive school and I (the totally un-cool girl) had to compete against the cool girls; Known as “The Plastics”. (Unsure of what I mean? Go and watch Mean Girls! It’s a must-watch movie).

So.. one night I closed my bedroom door and decided to get the tweezers out (which I obviously borrowed from my older sister). It hurt, but it felt great. I plucked and plucked away until I had thin eyebrows just like all the other girls. I loved it! The thing is, I didn’t even realise back then that ‘shape’ mattered. I thought as long as they were thin then I was safe.

Now, lets forward 6 years.. 

To A Stranger You Pass On The Street

I bumped into a stranger the other day. She stopped and asked me how I was; what I was doing with my life.

It felt awkward. I told her I was working, doing a job I love and I am back home living with my parents after three years away. I asked her the same questions back – “How are you? What are you doing in life?”

She pretty much said the same thing back – “I’m busy working. I have got myself a car to take me there and back each day from my parents house”.

We exchanged smiles for a few moments and stood hovering on our feet awkwardly unsure of what to say next.

After a couple of minutes of awkwardly looking around for something else to say, I wished her well and went on my way.

Life in a fish bowl

I feel like I am in a fish bowl.. Not literally squashed in a tiny little bowl, but sat here with everybody stopping to look at me.. I’m sure you can understand what I mean when I come around to explaining it…

I’m sat in work at the moment. It’s a pretty quiet day today so I thought I would bring in my notebook and get writing whilst it’s quiet. Our shop is on the corner of a little arcade and there is a constant flow of people walking past day in day out having a nose. Don’t get me wrong, the location is 100% perfect for business. We get so many customers just from walking past and seeing us as well as word of mouth.

Why Failing is Acceptable

The thought of failing in something is enough to scare anybody.

Failure isn’t just about not doing well in exams or not passing your driving test; Failing has a variety of different meanings.

I couldn’t help but feel like I had failed today – failed myself, failed my boss and failed my clients – all because I had to call in sick after being up and down all night with food poisoning. I felt really guilty like I was letting everybody (including myself) down, but why? Everybody gets poorly every now and then, right? I physically and mentally couldn’t go to work today, so why do I feel so guilty?

Whilst scrolling down my news feed this evening, I couldn’t help but notice The Daily Post’s Daily Prompt today was called ‘Must Not Fail‘ which again, got me thinking.

How Blogging Can Brighten Your Day

So I have just spent the last few hours catching up on all of the blogs I’m following, leaving comments here and there and generally taking in all of the posts I have missed over the last few months.

I can honestly say that I actually feel really good after reading them. There is something so satisfying about reading other blog posts and taking an interest that I didn’t even realise I had missed. So I am definitely going to take time out each day to just sit and have a read.

I forgot how much I missed this kind of interaction. I feel as though I actually know some of you on a personal level just through blogging even though I have never actually met you.

“7 Questions Tag – Coast Facts”

So, to well and truly start getting back into the blogging mojo again I decided I will do a tag post. After searching on google for different ideas I came across “7 Questions tag – Coast Facts” on National Trust.

I am really excited as I have recently purchased a new notebook which is just for my writing and blogging. So i can finally dedicate my spare time to typing away, writing new posts and catching up on all of my favourite blogs!

Watch this space!! 🙂

---

 

“7 Questions Tag – Coast Facts”

1) What’s your favourite beach?

Ooo, tricky one! I don’t really have a favourite in particular. I am not overly keen on pebble beaches so as long as the sand is soft and there is a positive atmostphere then I am happy! 

2) Sea or Sand?

Definitely sand. Don’t get me wrong; I love the sound of the sea and having a paddle in it. But I have never been one to actually get in the sea and have a swim. I much prefer chilling on the sand watching the bags whilst everybody else runs down to the sea. Although I have never been to the beach in a really hot country – I may have a different answer then!

3) Tell a memory of being by the sea?

I have way too many memories to share for this one! So I will pick one from when I was younger – I was on holiday with the family and we made a sand car – yes, an actual car made out of sand. It wasn’t exactly life size, but it was big enough for me to sit in it! I still remember that to this day 🙂

4) What’s your favourite seaside food?

Chips from the chip shop of course! C’mon, you can’t have a trip to the beach without having fish and chips!!

5) Favourite ice cream flavour?

Vanilla… Although last year I had a ‘honeycom crunch’ ice cream which was amazing!! In fact, I think that’s my new favourite!!

6) Have you ever lived by the sea?

Sadly not, but I would like to think I might get the chance to when I am retired in years to come.

7) Favourite place on the coast?

If you have never been down to Pembrokeshire in Wales before, then I suggest you get packing and go! It is such a beautiful place, has a fantastic atmosphere and is just the perfect scenery to relax in. 

---

 

That was fun re-living some memories for this post 😀 I’m not going to tag anybody in particular to take part, but if you choose to do this tag then please leave your link in the comments below for me to see your answers!

Happy Sunday 🙂

Why Not Drinking Alcohol Shouldn’t Be Questioned

One thing I never understand is why some people are so surprised when you tell them that you “don’t drink alcohol”.

Why is it such a big deal?

Before I was put on the medication I am currently on I would socially drink. Sure, sometimes it got a bit wild and I would wake up with a massive hangover the next day but that was part of being young and wreckless. 

However, I have noticed these days that when I say to somebody that “I’m not drinking” or “I don’t drink alcohol” they suddenly have to speak up and ask a gazillion questions. Same when somebody says “what are you drinking?” when we are out and my reply is “lemonade” – I get the most shocked responses questioning me how and why I am out when I’m not even drinking.

“Because I do…”

It’s not that I don’t miss writing; because I do.
It’s not that I don’t miss blogging; because I do.
It’s not that I don’t miss reading other blogs; because I do.

Well, this feels weird. This is the first time I have turned my laptop on to write in what feels like months… Wait, it actually is months.

I miss writing and blogging like crazy. You’re probably thinking, “well why did you stop then?”, but the reason for that is that life just got in the way.

I now have a full time job – 6 days a week – which I absolutely love. I am so thankful for the opportunity to actually be in a job that I adore and right now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The only thing that has suffered from getting a job though is my blog. But that isn’t my jobs fault; it’s mine.